Anton's Syndrome

Today I learned about Anton's Syndrome. There are two symptoms of this stroke-induced disorder. The first is "cortical blindness." There's nothing wrong the eyes, it's that the part of the brain that translates what the eye sees is damaged, so that the person is blind. If it seems strange that a person with perfectly healthy eyes can be blind, then consider the next symptom... The patient is unaware that they are blind.

The doctor said that this was a less common syndrome. And truthfully, it's hard to imagine that it exists. Blind people who are not even aware that they are blind. So they will go to the doctor's office, and they will flat out deny to the physician that they are blind. So the good doctor asks the patient, "What does my tie look like?" And the patient answers. Of course, the description is wrong. He's blind, remember? But the patient actually believes he is seeing the doctor's tie. It's not like the patient is lying. His brain supplies an image for the "mind's eye," and it is as real to the patient as the brown dog I see lying at my feet. Of course, one could question the reality of my perspective. This goes to the old philosophical question of whether or not we are seeing "things in itself," or merely "representations of ideas." But that's not the dog I'm gonna send to go hunt. Not tonight anyway.

As I said, Anton's Syndrome isn't common. But I personally feel acquainted with it. Maybe you do too. Seems like we go about life, assuming that our common sense is actually common. We assume that we see things as they are. We're a practical people. And we trust our senses. But should we? Don't we all have "blind spots?" This can be particularly frightening if we are driving our cars. We prepare to merge into the next lane. We check our mirrors, we glance over our shoulder, and begin our drift... only to be honked at! A man drives by and you can't hear a word he's saying. But you know what he's saying. You know. And it scares us terribly... to be waylaid by unforeseen blindness.

As dangerous as this can be on the road, there is are places where eyes that normally see 20/20 fail to catch the light. That place is called "Love." Ain't nobody got an eagle-eye as far as Love is concerned.

This is because love involves people, and people are an ever unfolding mystery. Friendship is not dissimilar. Any type of relationship wiggles out of ability to apprehend it entirely. We see what we see... in others... in ourselves, for reasons we can scarcely comprehend. We see an enemy possibly because we have an enemy. Or maybe we merely need one. Maybe you know what I mean. We've all pointed an accusing finger at some whipping boy. "It's that bastard's fault I said... did... feel... etc." The opposite is often true. We need an ideal. A hero. Someone to adore. People do this to their ministers. We're expected to be "better," more pure. Our families are more orderly. We have calm, Spirit-rich lives. If we have any faults, they're laughable. We're Ned Flanders. We're sexless. I remember putting my pastor on a pedestal... with golden intentions. Of course, he never was a real person to me. He was a priestly function. An "enter" key that I could press to start a new paragraph.

We also do this to lovers. I was once accused to putting someone on a pedestal. She smiled when she said it. Joked with me and asked me if "Wonder Woman" had any faults. I smiled. I hurt. While I have put women on pedestals before, I realize now the pitfalls of such wide-eyed praise. When we elevate our Loves in impossible ways, when we refuse to acknowledge their limitations, their outright faults, or at least the things about them that drive us crazy, WE MISS WHO THEY ARE!

Wonder Woman's words hurt. I wondered, "Does she believe that anyone who really knows her would find it hard to love her?" And maybe my pride was hurt a little. I think I see things... people... pretty clearly. I believe I have the courage and the will to see others "as they are."

I know now that this is not always true. Sometimes, whether I'm pointing at a scape-goat or at someone I admire, I am actually pointing at my own blindness.

The heart is a dark place. We can barely know our own hearts, and it is faith that lets us feel like we can know another's.

Another word for "Faith" is "Trust." In the end, life requires a lot of Trust from us. It is a key ingredient in the recipe for love and/or friendship. It is essential for the reading of our own souls, because it's our soul that will tell us where to go, what to do. It is where God speaks. And even though we often see and hear God according to our own needs and conveniences, we "see through a glass darkly," as St. Paul says... we still catch a few glimpses.

The patient with Anton's Syndrome may not be physically able to trust the doctor's diagnosis. But we can accept our blind spots if we have the courage to acknowledge them. We might not ever see anything very clearly, but who knows... with a little trust, and a lot of love... we might get some of this Life stuff right.